Liz Grampy Stephanie Cris
you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours.
If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
If it just sits in your living room,
messes up your stuff,
eats your food,
uses your telephone,
takes your money,
and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place,
you either married it or gave birth to it!
One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven.. There he
meets the Lord Himself. The Lord says to the cat "you lived a good life
and if there is any way I can make your stay in heaven more comfortable,
please let Me know." The cat thinks for a moment and says "Lord, all my
life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden
The Lord stops the cat and says "Say no more" and a wonderful fluffy
A few days later 6 mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and go
to heaven. Again the Lord is there to greet them with the same offer.
The mice reply "All our lives we have been chased. We have had to run
from cats, dogs, even women with brooms. Running, running, running!
We are so tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so
we won't have to run anymore?"
The Lord says "Say no more" and fits each mouse with beautiful pairs of
About a week later the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him
snoozing on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him "How
are things since you've been here?" The cat stretches and yawns and
replies "It sure is wonderful here. Better than I ever expected heaven
"And those 'Meals On Wheels' you've been sending by are theeeeeeeeeeee
"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." - Dave Platt
"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." -Unknown
"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never
forgotten this." - Anonymous
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled
through snow." - Jeff Valdez
"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." - English proverb
"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." - Ellen Perry Berkeley
"One cat just leads to another." - Ernest Hemingway
"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you
later." - Mary Bly
"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many
ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia." - Joseph
"People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life."- Faith
"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by
cats." - Anonymous
"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is
infinitely superior." - Hippolyte Taine
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats."-
"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart." - Ernest Menaul
"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God."
"Time spent with cats is never wasted." - Colette
"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have
many other fine qualities as well." - Missy Dizick
"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with
strangecats." - Colonial American proverb
"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for
what you want." -Joseph Wood Krutch
"Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit." John S. Nichols
Duct tape is like The Force:
it has a light side, a dark side,
and it holds the universe together.
Baseball In Heaven?
-There once were two best friends named Bob and Earl. They were two of the
biggest baseball fans in America. Their entire adult lives revolved around
baseball. Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter, and they
examined every box score during the season. They went to over 60 games a
year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and
tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.
One summer night, Bob passed away in his sleep after watching the Yankee
victory earlier in the evening. He died a happy man.
A few nights later, his buddy Earl awoke to the sound of Bob's voice from
"Bob is that you?" Earl asked.
"Of course it's me," Bob replied.
"This is unbelievable!" Earl exclaimed, "So tell me, is there baseball in
"Well, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want
to hear first?"
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, the good news is that there is baseball in heaven, Earl."
"Oh, that is wonderful! So what could possibly be the bad news?"
"You're pitching tomorrow night."
THOUGHTS TO LIVE BY
"In those whom I like, I can find no common denominator;
in those whom I love I can: they all make me laugh."
- W. H. Auden
boy and his father, who came from a small town in Georgia, were
visiting a mall on their first trip to the city of Atlanta. They were
amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver
walls that could move apart and back together again.
The boy asked his father, "What is that?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never
seen anything like this in my life -- I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a
wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls
opened and the lady rolled between them and into a small room. The walls
closed and the boy and his father watched as the small circles of light
with numbers above the wall lit up. They continued to watch and the circles
of light started moving in the reverse direction.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24 year old woman stepped out.
The father kneeled and whispered to his son, "Go get your mother."
A PRAYER FOR THE CHILDREN
We pray for the Children
who sneak popsicles before supper,
who erase holes in math workbooks,
who can never find their shoes.
And we pray for those
who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire,
who can't bound down the street in a new pair of sneakers,
who never "counted potatoes,"
who are born in places where we wouldn't be caught dead,
who never go to the circus,
who live in an X-rated world.
We pray for children
who bring us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions,
who hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money.
And we pray for those
who never get dessert,
who have no safe blanket to drag behind them,
who watch their parents watch them die,
who can't find any bread to steal,
who don't have any rooms to clean up,
whose pictures aren't on anybody's dresser,
whose monsters are real.
We pray for children
who spend all their allowance before Tuesday,
who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food,
who like ghost stories, who shove dirty clothes under the bed,
who never rinse out the tub,
who get visits from the tooth fairy,
who don't like to be kissed in front of the carpool,
who squirm in church or temple and scream in the phone,
whose tears we sometimes laugh at and
whose smiles can make us cry.
And we pray for those
whose nightmares come in the daytime,
who will eat anything,
who have never seen a dentist,
who aren't spoiled by anybody,
who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep,
who live and move, but have no being.
We pray for children
who want to be carried and for those who must,
who we never give up on
and for those who don't get a second chance.
For those we smother and . . .
for those who will grab the hand of anybody kind enough to offer it.
A farmer decides that his 3 sows should be bred, and contacts his buddy
down the road, who owns 3 male pigs. They agree on a stud fee, and the
farmer puts the sows in his pickup and brings them down the road to the
males. He leaves them all day, and when he picks them up that night, asks
the man how he can tell if it 'took' or not. The breeder replies that if,
the next morning, the sows were grazing on grass, they were pregnant, but
if they were rolling in the mud as usual, they probably weren't ...
Comes the morn, the sows are rolling in the mud as usual, so the farmer
puts them in the truck and brings them back for a second full day of
frolic. This continues for a week, since each morning the sows are rolling
in the mud.
About the sixth day, the farmer wakes up and tells his wife, "I don't have
the heart to look again. This is getting ridiculous, AND expensive. You
check today." With that, the wife peeks out the bedroom window and starts
"What is it?" asks the farmer excitedly. "Are they grazing at last?"
"Nope." says the wife. "Two of them are jumping up and down in the back of
your truck, and the other one is honking the horn!"
"Love your enemies. It will make them crazy."
BASIC RULES FOR CATS WHO HAVE A HOUSE TO RUN
CHAIRS AND RUGS: If you have to throw up, get into a chair quickly. If you
cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug,
shag is good.
DOORS: Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get a door opened, stand
on your hind legs and hammer with your forepaws. Once the door is opened,
it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an outside door
opened, stand halfway in and halfway out and think about several things.
This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow and the
GUESTS: Quickly determine which guest hates cats the most. Sit on that lap.
If you can arrange to have Friskies Fish'n Glop on your breath, so much the
* For sitting on laps or rubbing against trouser legs, select a fabric
color which goes well with your fur. For example, white furred cats go to
black wool clothing.
* For a guest who claims, "I love kitties", be ready with aloof disdain,
apply claws to stockings, or use a quick nip on the ankle.
* When walking among dishes on the dinner table, be prepared to look
surprised and hurt when scolded. The idea is to convey: "But you allow me
on the table when company is not here".
* Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do
anything, just sit and stare.
WORK: If one of your humans is sewing or writing and another is idle, stay
with the busy one. This is called helping, otherwise known as hampering.
Following are the rules for hampering:
* When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You
cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on, then
picked up and consoled.
* For book readers, get in close under the chin, between the eyes and the
book, unless you can lie across the book itself.
* For knitting projects, curl quietly into the lap of the knitter and
pretend to doze. Occasionally reach out and slap the knitting needles sh
arply. This can cause dropped stitches or spill the yarn. The knitter may
try to distract you with a scrap ball of yarn. Ignore it. Remember, the aim
is to hamper work.
PLAY: It is important. Get enough sleep in the daytime so that you are
fresh for playing catch the mouse or king-of-the-hill on your human's bed
between 2:00 and 4:00 a.m.
BEGIN PEOPLE TRAINING EARLY. YOU WILL THEN HAVE A SMOOTH RUNNING HOUSE
A four-year-old girl was at the pediatrician's office for a check-up. As the
doctor looked into her ears with an otoscope, he asked, "Do you think I'll
find Big Bird in here?" The little girl stayed silent.
Next the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down her throat. He
asked, "Do you think I'll find the Cookie Monster down there?" Again the
little girl was silent.
Then the doctor put a stethoscope to her chest. As he listened to her heart
beat, he asked, "Do you think I'll hear Barney in here?" "Oh, no!" the
little girl replied. "Jesus is in my heart!! Barney's on my underpants."
Things We Can Learn From a Dog: ****
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to bepure ecstasy.
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
Take naps and stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and
nuzzle them gently.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body, learn to frolic.
No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout ......
run right back and make friends.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Subject: Metrics Part 12
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
2. You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
3. There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of
4. Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
5. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
6. Sometimes too much to drink is not enough.
7. The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
8. The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
9. Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
10. Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.
11. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
12. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
13. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
14. I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
15. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
16. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
17. All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
18. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in
mind to blame.
19. One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
20. By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends.
21. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
22. The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
23. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
24. This is as bad as it can get, but don't count on it.
25. Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
26. The trouble with life is, you're halfway through it before you
realize it's a do-it-yourself thing.
27. Youth and skill are no match for experience and treachery.
28. No amount of advance planning will ever replace dumb luck.
29. Anything you do can get you fired; this includes doing nothing.
30. Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it.
31. Never pass a snow plow on the right.
Gift of Insults
There once lived a great warrior. Though quite old, he still was able to
defeat any challenger. His reputation extended far and wide throughout the
land and many students gathered to study under him.
One day an infamous young warrior arrived at the village. He was determined
to be the first man to defeat the great master. Along with his strength, he
had an uncanny ability to spot and exploit any weakness in an opponent. He
would wait for his opponent to make the first move, thus revealing a
weakness, and then would strike with merciless force and lightning speed.
No one had ever lasted with him in a match beyond the first move.
Much against the advice of his concerned students, the old master gladly
accepted the young warrior's challenge. As the two squared off for battle,
the young warrior began to hurl insults at the old master. He threw dirt
and spit in his face. For hours he verbally assaulted him with every curse
and insult known to mankind. But the old warrior merely stood there
motionless and calm. Finally, the young warrior exhausted himself. Knowing
he was defeated, he left feeling shamed.
Somewhat disappointed that he did not fight the insolent youth, the
students gathered around the old master and questioned him. "How could you
endure such an indignity? How did you drive him away?"
"If someone comes to give you a gift and you do not receive it," the master
replied, "to whom does the gift belong?"
Look to this day for it is life
Yesterday is but a memory
Tomorrow is only a vision
But today-well lived makes every
yesterday a memory of happiness
and every tomorrow a vision of hope
Look well therefore, to THIS day
Good night and sleep tight.
Look to this day, for it is life.
The very life of life,
In its brief course lie all the realities of existence,
The bliss of growth, the splendor of action, the glory of power
for yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow is only a vision
But today, well, lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness
and every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, unto this day.
The Trouble Tree
The carpenter I hired to help me restore an old farmhouse had just finished
a rough first day on the job. A flat tire made him lose an hour of work,
his electric saw quit, and now his ancient pickup truck refused to start.
While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. On arriving, he invited me
in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused
briefly at a small tree, touching tips of the branches with both hands.
When opening the door, he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned
face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave
his wife a kiss.
Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got
the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier. Oh,
that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles
on the job, but one thing's for sure, troubles don't belong in the house
with my wife and the children. So I just hang them up on the tree every
night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again."
"Funny thing is," he smiled, "when I come out in the morning to pick 'em
up, there ain't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."
These are bits of wisdom gained by a father who was educated by his
rather active children.
There is no such thing as child proofing your house.
2. A four year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
3. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is notstrong enough to rotate a
42-pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a Superman cape.
4. Baseballs make marks on ceilings.
5. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you here the toilet flush and the words "uh-oh" it is already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Chlorox makes smoke, lots of it.
9. A six-year-old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though
a 36-year-old man says it can only be done in the movies.
10. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes,
it does not leak...it explodes.
11. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
house almost 4 inches deep.
12. Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4 year old.
13. Duplos will not.
14. Playdough and microwaves should never be used in the same sentence.
15. Superglue is forever.
16. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches, even though TV commercials show they do.
17. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
18. Marbles in a gas tank make lots of noises when driving.
19. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
20. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life
(unfortunately, mostly in retrospect).
A cheerful heart is good medicine... Prov 17:22a (NIV)
On the last day of school some kindergarteners brought presents for
The florist's child presented a wrapped package to the teacher and
the teacher said I bet these are flowers and the child smiled and said
The candy store owner's child presented a package and the teacher
said Oh I bet this is candy and the child said yes!
The liquor store owner's child presented a leaky package and the
teacher touched it with her finger and tasted it and said oh I bet this
is champagne. No! said the child. Oh I know, I bet it's wine said the
teacher. No! said the child. I give up said the teacher.. What is it?
A puppy! said the excited child.
you solve any of Life's Great Mysteries ?
1. Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
2. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
3. If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
4. If buttered toast always lands buttered side down,and cats always land on their
feet, what would happen if you tied a piece of buttered toast to the back of a cat?
5. If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days of the year, why do they have locks on the doors?
6. Why do they put Braille dots on the key pads of the drive-up ATM machine?
7. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
8. Why are there floatation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
9. Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
10. How does the guy who drives the snow plow get to work?
11. If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
12. If you're driving at the speed of light and you turn on you headlights, what happens?
13. You know how most packages say "open here"? What should you do if the package
say"open somewhere else"?
14. Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
15. Why is it that when you transport something by car it's called a shipment, but
when you trasport something by ship it's called cargo?
16. You know that little indestructible black box that's used on airplanes?
Why can't they make the whoe plane out of the same substance?
17. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address,you turn the radio down?
18. Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?
19. Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together?
20. What does Geronimo scream when he jumps out of a plane?
21. If fire fighters fight fire, and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?
22. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
23. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner "Mom & Pop"grocery
picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocerwalked
over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot oflaundry
to do. "Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog."
"But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's very powerful and if you wash
your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him." But the boy
was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for
it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog.
About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the
boy about his dog."Oh, he died," the boy said. The grocer, trying not to be an
I-told-you-so, said he was sorry the dog died but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that
detergent on your dog.""Well, the boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent that killed
him." "Oh?" said the grocer "What was it then?" "I think it was the spin cycle!"replied the boy.
> >>+++++++++++++++++++++++++<< <
100 Ways to Be Happy and Feel Good!
1. Never put yourself last.
2. When you extend a helping hand to one person, be careful
not to kick someone else in the teeth.
3. Always own a pair of old, faded jeans.
4. Count your blessings every day.
5. Acknowledge your successes along with your downfalls.
6. Burn the candle that has been in storage for the last two years.
7. Strive for progress, not perfection.
8. Remember, the voice telling you that you cannot do something is always lying.
9. At least once a day sit and do nothing.
10. Don't close your heart so tightly against life's pain that you shut out life's blessings.
11. Celebrate all your birthdays no matter how old you get.
12. Examine your life for limitations and ask yourself why you put them there.
13. Plant a tree, pull weeds, or get your hands dirty.
14. Diminish your wants instead of increasing your needs.
15. Cry when you feel like it.
16. Rejoice in other people's triumphs.
17. Don't wait for someone else to laugh or express joy.
18. Forgive yourself for any mistake you make, no matter how big or small.
19. Keep good company.
20. Never take a pill for a pain you need to feel.
21. Use your enthusiasm to put yourself in forward gear and give yourself
a spark to move ahead.
22. Look in the eyes of the ones you love when you are talking to them.
23. Remember that one is a whole number.
24. Walk in a summer rain shower without an umbrella.
25. Do a kind deed for someone else.
26. Keep your eyes and ears open to get the messages you need from
people and events in your daily life.
27. Be patient.
28. Eat something green.
29. Change what you can and leave the rest alone.
30. Walk hand and hand with truth.
31. Make laughter and joy a greater part of your life than anger and grief.
32. Embrace solitude instead of running from it.
33. Be zealous, not jealous.
34. Forgive anyone you've been holding a grudge against.
35. Slow down and enjoy the present.
36. Walk in others' shoes before judging them.
37. Send yourself a kind message.
38. Remind yourself that the company you keep is a reflection of what
you think of yourself.
39. Go on a picnic.
40. Accept your fears, no matter how crazy they seem.
41. Don't let other people's opinions shape who you are.
42. Say a prayer.
43. Never attribute your accomplishments to luck or chance.
44. Know when to say no.
45. Look at the positive side of any negative situation.
46. Remember that you are a spiritual being in a physical body.
47. Avoid seeking out other people for constant approval, because it make them the master
and you the slave.
48. Go fly a kite.
49. Avoid fads and bandwagons.
50. Accept the things you cannot change.
51. Look inside, instead of outside yourself for answers to life's problems.
52. Remember that all feelings are okay.
53. Shield yourself from bad influences.
54. Stand up for what you believe in.
55. Respect the wishes of others when they say no.
56. Seize every moment and live it fully.
57. Give away or sell anything you haven't used in the past five years.
58. Never downgrade yourself.
59. Take responsibility for what you think, feel, and do.
60. Pamper yourself.
61. Never say or do anything abusive to a child.
62. Let yourself be God powered instead of flying solo.
63. Volunteer to help someone in need.
64. Refrain from overindulging in food, drink, and work
65. Finish unfinished business.
66. Be spontaneous.
67. Find a constructive outlet for your anger.
68. Think about abundance instead of lack, because whatever you think about expands.
69. Think of yourself as a survivor, not a victim.
70. Cuddle an animal.
71. Be open to life.
72. See success as something you already have, not something you must attain.
73. Experience the splendor and awe of a sunset.
74. When you score a base hit, don't wish it were a home run.
75. Learn to be in the present moment.
76. Instead of believing in miracles, depend on them.
77. Take a child to the circus.
78. Change your attitude and your whole life will change.
79. Never turn your power over to another person.
80. When your heart is at odds with your head, follow your heart.
81. Always remember that the past is gone forever and the future never comes.
82. Live your life according to what is right for you.
83. Acknowledge your imperfections.
84. Plant a tree and watch it grow.
85. See "friend" instead of "enemy" on the face of strangers.
86. Watch an army of ants build their houses and cities and carry food
ten times their weight.
87. Believe in something bigger than yourself.
88. Let the playful child within you come out.
89. Make haste slowly.
90. Work through your problems step by step and one day at a time.
91. Accept compliments from others so you can see the truth about yourself.
92. Sit on the lawn without worrying about grass stains.
93. Don't condemn yourself for your imperfections.
94. Do a humility check periodically by loving the truth about yourself.
95. Tell someone you appreciate them.
96. Never live your life according to what is right for someone else.
97. Talk less and listen more.
98. Admit your wrong doing and forgive yourself for it.
99. Thrive on inner peace instead of on crises.
100. Affirm all the good things about yourself.
Tell me not, in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream! -
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.
Life is real! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.
Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way;
But to act, that each to-morrow
Find us farther than to-day.
Art is long, and time is fleeting,
And our heart, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.
In the world's broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
Be a hero in the strife!
Trust no future, howe'er pleasant!
Let the dead Past bury its dead!
Act, -act in the living Present!
Heart within, and God o'erhead!
Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time.
Footprints, that, perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.
Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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For all you dog lovers...it works for dogs...why not humans????
you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want.
Be direct with people; let them know exactly how you feel by piddling on their shoes.
Be aware of when to hold your tongue and when to use it.
Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.
Always give people a friendly greeting; a cold nose in the crotch is effective.
Don't go out without I.D.
When you do something wrong, always take responsibility
(as soon as you're dragged out from under the bed)
If it's not wet and sloppy, it's not a real kiss
When you go out into the world, remember; always remember to take time to smell the roses.
..and the trees, the grass, the rocks, the street, the fire hydrants.....
More Mysteries of Life
1. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
2. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is
it considered a hostage situation?
3. Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled a them would they
still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
4. What's another word for synonym?
5. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
6. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
7. When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be
8. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
9. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
10. Why do they report power outages on TV?
11. What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating
an endangered plant?
12. Is it possible to be totally partial?
13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
14. Would a fly that loses it wings be called a walk?
15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will
16. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their
17. If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
18. If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is
he still wrong?
19. If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?
20. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
21. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
22. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
23. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
24. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
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Here is a bit of wisdom that was in Ann Landers column today. It has to
do with time and how we spend it. Hopefully i will help someone out there.
To realize the value of one year: Ask a student who has failed his final exam.
To realize the value of one month: Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of one week: Ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of one day: Ask a daily wage laborer who has 10 kids to feed.
To realize the value of one hour: Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of one minute: Ask a person who has missed the train, the bus or the plane.
To realize the value of one second: Ask the person who has survived an accident.
To realize the value of one milisecond: Ask the person who has won a
silver medal in the Olympics.
Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have. you will
treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.
For Liz - Stephanie - Chris - Adam
we want you to know
we treasured every minute.
All our Love
Grammy and Grampy
(until we meet again)
Mail to: The Boo Mistress Olivija .HOME ICQ # 7562716