dog

DOG IS GOD
SPELLED BACKWARDS
(FOR A GOOD REASON)
They are heavenly creatures ! ! !
*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *
What is man without the beasts?
           If all the beasts were gone, men would die from
           great loneliness of spirit. For whatever happens
           to the beasts, soon happens to man.
           All things are connected.
                                -Chief Seattle (Duwamish Tribe)

CLICK ON DOG ABOVE FOR INFORMATION ON DOG SHELTERS,
RESCURE ORGANIZATIONS AND LINKS TO OTHER DOGGIE SITES.
~~~~~~~~
"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room
furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold
his own in the conversation." -- Fran Lebowitz

CLICK ON DOG ABOVE FOR Pet products, services
and information. Click each logo for more info
~~~~~~~~
"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean,
here we come back from a grocery store with the
most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow.
They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
-- Anne Tyler

CLICK ON DOG ABOVE FOR
INFORMATION ON DOG TRAINING
~~~~~~~~
"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo
is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog
money." -- Joe Weinstein

CLICK ON DOG ABOVE TO
REACH CANINE FREESTYLE
~~~~~~~~
"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that
certain dogs I have known will go to heaven,
and very, very few persons." -- James Thurber

CLICK ON DOG AND GO TO
ENTERTAINMENT FOR PETS
~~~~~~~~
"You enter into a certain amount of madness
when you marry a person with pets."
-- Nora Ephron

CLICK ON PUPPY FOR
DOG OBEDIENCE AND
AGILITY CHAMPIONSHIPS
~~~~~~~~
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as
conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-- Ann Landers

CLICK ABOVE FOR
CANINE HEALTH
~~~~~~~~
"Women and cats will do as they please,
and men and dogs should relax and get used
to the idea." -- Robert A. Heinlein

CLICK ON WOLF TO ORDER
DOGGIE SHIRT ART
~~~~~~~~
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you
more than he loves himself." -- Josh Billings

CLICK ON BEGGER TO SPEAK UP
AGAINST CRUELTY TO ANIMALS
~~~~~~~~
"No one appreciates the very special genius of
your conversation as the dog does."
-- Christopher Morley
* * * * * * *
IT'S A DOG'S LIFE
____________________________________

DOGGY DEFINITIONS
LEASH:
>======<
A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you
to lead your person where you want him/her to go.

DOG BED:
>========<
Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread
in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in
the living room.

DROOL:
>======<
Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't.
To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and
look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.

SNIFF:
>======<
A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place
your nose as close as you can to the other dog's rear end
and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person
makes you stop. This can also be done to human's crotches.

GARBAGE CAN:
>=============<
A container which your neighbors put out once a week to
test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and
try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right
you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones
to consume and moldy crusts of bread.

BICYCLES:
>==========<
Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control
body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind
a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards;
the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

DEAFNESS:
>=========<
This is a malady which affects dogs when their person want them
in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the
person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.

THUNDER:
>=========<
This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans
remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary
to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting,
rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.

WASTEBASKET:
>============<
This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy
wrappers. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew
the papers all over the house until your person comes home

SOFAS:
>=====<
Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to
run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.

BATH:
>=====<
This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and
themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.
>=====<

The best way to get your human's attention when they
are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

GOOSE BUMP:
>==========<
A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump
doesn't get the attention you require..... especially effective when
combined with The Sniff. See above.

LOVE:
>======<
Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without
restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag
your tail. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return.
If not, you can always sniff their crotches.

* * * * * * *
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS .....
A malamute and a pointer                          (moot point)
A bearded collie and a deer hound              (beerhound)
A pointed-corgi cross and a basset hound    (porgy-and-bass)
A chow chow and a chihuahua                    (chowawa)
A collie and a labrador-dalmation cross        (collaboratian)
Collie + Lhasa Apso...........Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport
Spitz + Chow Chow..........Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot
Pointer + Setter......................Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet
Great Pyrenees + Dachshund...............Pyradachs, a puzzling breed
Pekinese + Lhasa Apso...............Peekasso, an abstract dog
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel.............Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle
Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever............Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists
Newfoundland + Basset Hound..................Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors
Terrier + Bulldog.....................Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes
Bloodhound + Labrador.................Blabador, a gossip hound.
Collie + Malamute.............Commute, a dog that travels to work
Deerhound + Terrier..................Derriere, a dog that's true to the end

* * * * * * *

We "destroyed" 12,000,000 unwanted animals in the US last year. If you love
dogs please get a mutt or a registered breed but don't ignore this problem. Spay
or neuter now and if you breed, only do so as a responsible professional who also
rescues.